Connection in the New Year

Happy New Year! 

~Xo Laurin

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An Opportunity For You

    IMG_0371   This is NOT a political post. Here’s what I think about the election and how to use it as an opportunity for yourself versus getting sucked into the content of the politics:

I haven’t spoken out about politics before, but to me this is bigger than politics; this is about human behavior and what’s going to allow each of us to really have the impact we want to have. And that’s honoring yourself. All the parts of yourself. Going through the processes where there’s judgment, pain, disappointment, fear, anger. Coming out neutral and loving and being the best version of you for yourself, your family, and those around you.

The candidates are irrelevant to the awareness you can have about yourself throughout this process. It’s about each of us as individuals stepping up and finding our voice in whatever area is most inspired and aligned for you. That’s how you can contribute the most.

Trust in our country, and what’s meant to happen, will.

The best question in the second debate was, “Can you name one positive thing you respect in one another?” This question shows that there are always things we can find that we love and respect about one another as humans. When we come together, we realize we are all connected and all loving beings. Once you ask yourself, “What can I love or respect about this other person?” then you have free choice to make your own decisions, whether that’s staying in a relationship with them, choosing to vote for them, choosing to stay friends with them, or choosing to do business with them.

More points of unity and community are needed and it doesn’t just need to include politics or what side you’re on. Remember, the more polarized you are in your life, the more adrenaline and stress hormones you release, affecting yourself more than anyone else. It’s like the Buddha quote about when you are “grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.”

This is an amazing gift for you to see your own patterns. What are your reactions under stress? I’m not saying I agree at all with either side of this campaign, but the least wise thing I can do for myself and those around me is to not hold onto too much fire for others without realizing I too have been inappropriate. It may not be the same circumstances, but we’ve all been there. This doesn’t make Trump right or a good example to our children. But it is an equally amazing example to have a warning and teach them consequences for actions, interpersonal skills, and how to effectively lead and make a difference from love instead of fear.

There are pros and cons to everything, so it’s best to see both sides and teach your children and those around you what’s most respectful of themselves and others so they can be empowered, open, loving, and not in fear.

Happiness and personal fulfillment is built in times like these. In times of challenge, disappointment, frustration, and total outrage. How will you handle yourself in those times? What strategies do you need to have even more self-awareness, grace, trust, and love? I know for me, it’s meditation, a yoga practice, breath, and noticing when I’m off. I have a handful of strategies I can do in a moment so the thought either passes by during a meditation or thinking time, or gets addressed, felt, and transcended. This is what this election is really about for me.

You may have heard the saying, “There’s your business, their business and God’s business.” Whatever your beliefs are, you do you. Let Trump worry about his business and Clinton worry about hers. That’s not my business right now. Keep setting your intention for the best outcome. We don’t know exactly what’s needed for our government right now; we just have ideas. So let’s keep putting higher energy into that solution and trust. I’m not saying don’t vote or don’t speak out, but it’s best to keep your emotions out of it for your sake. We all, I’m sure, have experiences of getting a lot more done from a place of love and being connected then from rage-filled outbursts.

This post was not meant as a forum to bash either candidate or share your political views. Questions or comments about how you are going to use this experience of the election for self-growth and self-awareness are welcome.

~xo Laurin

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Your Truth

Q and A Time! Thank you for those of you that have messaged me questions, I’m so grateful. I’ve filmed a handful of these videos answering your questions and will be doing more so keep them coming if you have anything. And, I think the advice offered in this video is applicable to you across many different situations. <3

I got asked a question about how to tell her boyfriend she was pregnant because there is a possibility that he won’t be as happy or supportive as she is about the pregnancy. She’s been living in a state of fear because she is so worried about her boyfriend’s and family’s reactions, that she has lost sight of her own truth- which is that she is overwhelmingly happy to bring this new life into the world. Regardless of how others accept the news, she is in a place of love, joy and gratitude for the pregnancy.

When you are in a place of total trust, you won’t be looking to others for approval. First, get into a place of trusting your timing and trusting your truth. Writing down all the benefits and drawbacks to both situations, so you can make a clear decision. I’m not a big pro/con list type of person but using the clarity from the benefits helps me to be in a state of gratitude. And looking at the drawbacks is a realistic thing to do not as a con, but so that you can communicate your truth effectively to others and not be blindsided later. You won’t know all of them on either side at this point but having some will help you make a real decision.

Amazing things and challenges are going to come out of whatever decisions you make so it’s being real with that and making the decision at this time you feel best with, and that’s most in integrity with your truth and desires.

In order to communicate effectively with others staying focused in your decision and in a place of love you will receive an outcome far grater than acceptance from others, you will have peace and acceptance from yourself. You will have pride in yourself and get the growth necessary to either create a beautiful relationship and go deeper with your boyfriend in this case, or move on with a beautiful new being you have the privilege of brining into the world. Staying unattached to their outcomes, and instead be clear for yourself. Trust you will get the support you need even if you don’t know where it’s coming from.

Get a piece of paper and write out all the things you are terrified of- go deep, get at least 20. Now, list the worst-case scenario. What would really happen if these things came true? What would your life look like? What are you really scared of?

Now, think of everything good that would come from the “ worst” scenarios, write down what opportunities will come your way, will someone show up to support you? What feelings you will get to experience? What will you be grateful for? How you will grow from these things happening in your life? Dig deep, journal and take some deep breaths. Pushing yourself to answer here makes the situations much easier when they present themselves so you can stay grounded and open trusting what’s to come. Can you remember a time in the past when you felt challenged? Felt like you wouldn’t have support? Or were attached to someone specific being there? Who showed up for you? Did you have support from somewhere? (We always do! It’s just about training ourselves to see it quickly and even in advance of feeling less than or victimized.)

~xo Laurin

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Happiness is a choice. While life may not always be sunshine and rainbows, and we all have challenging times when we’re growing, you can still choose to bring a happy, excited, passionate and radiant quality to whatever it is you’re currently doing or going through. There is always more on the other side, and choosing to use your emotional energy in the direction you want to go can serve your goals and your body.

What does communication mean to you? Today, I’ll be asking more questions than usual and I invite you to take some time and answer them for you if you feel called. You may want to share with someone too. I was asked in a yoga class recently how do I show trust/distrust in my communication. That can be whatever it means to us.

I found it really valuable to learn and express my strategies for both trust and distrust. How did I show this in my body language, moving toward or away from myself or someone else? How did I feel worthy and show respect for myself, or a lack of worthiness and respect? We can do this in our thoughts, actions, body language and in relationship to others.

I realized this was something that could really help create more intimacy with an even deeper connection and self-awareness. I know now there’s a way, that I’m attuned to, when I use my body because I’m avoiding feeling something and that through this no matter what I say I’m not communicating my highest truth. Sometimes I can use this as a guide to feel more and express myself. When we’re willing to open and to hearing what may seem inconvenient at times (and yet divinely perfect in its guidance for a new level of being) our life will always expand into more greatness and more self-expression.

Whenever we communicate from hesitation, or fear of feeling less than, that’s also creating distrust and not honoring our higher selves. There’s no reason to make any version of you that shows up wrong or bad. We’re all human and have areas to grow for the rest of our lives. And, when communicating it’s optimal to choose how you express yourself most authentically and lovingly and with an outcome on your truth.

Here are questions to think about today:
Can you remember a time when you were connected and spoke your truth or got an internal knowing?
if so, go back to that time for a moment now and remember, what did you do with your body? What did you say? How did you feel afterwards?
Our intuition is super powerful. In fact, the unconscious is 30,000 times more powerful than our conscious minds so let’s use this to our advantage.

Can you remember a time when you didn’t speak your whole truth to yourself or with someone else?
Did you hold back? Rationalize a knowing out of fear or to make it more convenient so you could get your way?
What had to happen for you to do that? How did you move your body? What internal dialogue did you have with yourself before, during and after the exchange?

xo ~Laurin Seiden 

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I spoke to two women this morning both with the same concern. They’ve been having a tendency to move inwards and feel really isolated and lonely lately. I’ve been seeing this come up quite a lot recently. Whether it’s the feeling life should be somewhere it’s not, coming out of a relationship or reflecting on what’s really next for you in life and in business, these questions cause us to feel separate. Separate from our flow, separate from the place where we can tap into resourceful energy and separate from where we can make our dreams come true.

What helps us to create a shift really comes down to Value. The value you are placing on yourself. You being in a place where you remember, and have an awareness of your greatness. That place where you shine. Placing others on a pedestal, or feeling victimized leads to loneliness and an inability to take action effectively. Where has your value on yourself been misplaced? Where have you been giving others power while devaluing yourself? Where have you not been taking care of yourself?

Here’s a simple three-step process I follow:
1. Make a list of the people and situations you are tolerating that aren’t serving you or you may be becoming resentful of.
2. Write down who you need to have conversations with. Who you may need to write a letter to (whether you send it or not). Get Clear on what needs to be said and have the discussion. One exchange may also be to yourself.
3. Fill yourself up. Stack what you’re grateful for. Stack the qualities you love about yourself. Stack how you love showing up for others. If you’ve been neglecting an area of your health or spiritual practice re-engage with it or create some new habits. If you’ve been trying to control something, where can you surrender and soften? Where can you listen and love more?

I said to a client this morning, it’s not that you need to be upset you’re in this place. There are so many gifts in the sadness and the indulging at times in a closed moment that you take for yourself. We tend to need to take more of that time when we haven’t been focused on self-care and giving our gifts. So it’s your choice how long you stay there. You’ve had your time and you can now choose to remember all your value and people that love you and join the party or you can choose to feel lonely. Once you have the awareness, the ball’s in your court.

When we get sick or need down time we haven’t been consistently nourishing and nurturing ourselves. When you have a daily practice to support yourself and know how to speak your truth to yourself and others your immune system and value will exponentially rise.

Today’s Tweetable: Placing others on a pedestal, or feeling victimized leads to loneliness and an inability to take action effectively @LaurinSeiden

~xo Laurin

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